i never intended to be this thing that i have become but i suppose no one ever does i tried hard to keep it together but the harder i tried the more loose lengthy flaccid i'd become i suck in my breath and wish once again for that thing… that remarkable thing that people have that wondrous vim embodied by those i admire so those infectious laughs like tear gas over a mob that protest for more i know it’s how i think but what am i to do— it’s how i think if we survive this day the people will think again i look in the mirror and smile as i cry and smile again always smiling the tears skid like gradeschoolers everyone continuously telling the same bad lie everyday all day and i knowlingly lie right back stoic little fireflies rambling in prescriptions and melted cheese cows pasturing like vending machines and as i finger-paint my face like some probationary escort i otherwise pretend… it’s my self-portrait and i am preparing for my big debut, beret and all and as i go on pretending readjusting the 9mm chaffing my lower back i wonder if this really is my moment of revival maybe i've finally taken a turn for the worse sometimes i feel like i am fading filled with mutations i hear the kids outside screaming with excitement it sounds like hyenas ripping an elk i’m not sure if that’s what hyenas kill, but again, what am i to do— it’s how i think i can’t tell where the world begins and i end it’s all blending together like thick unfinished brushstrokes pulsing out a birth canal colors coalescing into soft mixtures of ice and flame symbols of death and the amnion slowly evaporating into dead-end flumes it was once so defined so perfect and bright a lost star in an uninspired galaxy burning its way through life like a paralytic dream of one day one should be so lucky to be alive at all one should be but… i take a deep breath and reach my arm to the mirror kissing it with my hand and letting it drag its way down and off i kiss and kiss again smile as i cry always smiling— there is a choice and i have made mine in this moment upon my exit where all my actions are pure and will be very well misunderstood by LORIN DREXLER
Lukas Carlson graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire in 2017 with a BFA in Illustration. Primarily a painter, his work explores the human figure while studying behavior and emotion. Linear concepts are avoided, and he prefers to be inspired by the complexity of simple forms. His current inspiration involves considering the human figure as a structure that can be disassembled and reconstructed in different ways.
What is Gen Society?
Gen Society is an art space blog for visual art and creative writing collaborations, and other randomizations. Hosted by writer and musician Lorin Drexler, this online venue is an expressive experience for those interested in the world of the arts. It is a literary journey through the hearts and minds of contemporary artists in practice and a reflection of those that have long passed.
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