Florian NICOLLE // VISIONS

Florian NICOLLE – Featured Artist

VISIONS

I

in a day and age like this
to come up with something simple
about our love
is trite |trīt|; overused and of little import
if it's about us
it has to be complex
now i just need to find
the right group of words
to explain this sensation i feel
rather than phrase it
with the phrase we phrase often
that expresses everything 
yet explains nothing

maybe
i'll paint it for you instead
but you'll turn out weird
a feature of disfigurement
and i'll be empty again
searching for a new lover
or an animal in the wild 
to shave and glue back together

this lover i speak of
these hands that wash clean
that chose from
the depths of choosing
examines the life of an artist
but who wants it
to date to marry to fuck

the sun invades the panes 
the stars scream 'til they burst

perhaps another thread
from the same brush
a life like ours is filled with iniquities
with broken and daggering words

artists are insolvent
obscure
too sexually addicted
too loving in obtrusive ways
too passionate for blood
too... everything in excess
then
we do it all over again

purple goes black
black pretends red
red becomes the sun
we stare and go blind
and in this frozen summer
we dream of a better life
a better lover
one that could love us more
than we could love ourselves

even if we didn't carry
the burden of this life as a creative hack
what
from where the world has brought us
could we piece together
and build this so-called better life


II

a species divided: the advent of the machine

"it's the illusion of options that we've got today that we've never had before
in the form of online dating social media and pornography
what that means is when we enter relationships
we're almost assessing if that partner is worthy of us
and there's always an element of narcissism
we walk in and we're like
can i get better
can i get the most
is this the most satisfying sexual relationship i've ever had
and if that person doesn't tick every single box off
instead of reflecting on what you need to heal
and what you need to bring to the table
and how you can help this ratio survive
we simply replace them with the illusion of options
even if we don't have the alternatives we think we do"

a paradox love story:

"we've created a generation of narcissistic women
and what's happened is the rise of social media
and the rise of online dating
and the rise of feminism
has taught women that they are not to blame for any poor choices
every poor choice is glamorized
so if you want to be a sex worker it's great
if you want to post a bikini picture online it's fine
every poor choice is glamorized
and every internal reflection is seen as gaslighting yourself
so they've even got terms for internal reflection to prevent it happening
and so what will happen is
they are trained to not reflect on themselves
because we've been told we've been oppressed for so many years
now it's time to make sure we project
and we don't take any accountability
and as a result
when we get into relationships
if we don't feel completely soothed all the time
he must be a narcissist
he must be a manipulator
he must be gaslighting
he he he rather than i i i
and unfortunately we've got an online market that caters to that wounded woman
that caters to that entitled woman
and caters to that narcissistic woman
and it's so wild to me that so many women talk about narcissism
but the society today is just catering to narcissistic women
if i post a bikini picture online
there's nothing my husband can do that could compete with that level of acceleration
the compliments
the constant messaging
that you're so sexy from thousands of men around the world
there's nothing he can do
he can't post online and get the same reaction
and more so
he can't give me the same level of validation
so what's happened is we've created a setup in society
that means men have to compete with a level of validation they can't compete with
and if women go online
if they join tinder that night
they can have so many more options than a man can
and i can manipulate male validation
get more attention from men
just soothe myself
and shaming myself
i'm above this
i don't need him
i can replace him
it's something men actually can't do
so they have to rely on pornography
they replace us with pornography
and we replace them with likes and comments on social media"

— the school of greatness: sadia khan


III

"the more we obey our conscience
the more demands our conscience makes of us
just as junk food and lack of exercise can ruin an athlete's condition
those things that are obscene crude or pornographic
can breed an inner darkness that numbs our higher sensibilities
and substitutes the social conscience of
will i be found out
for the natural or divine conscience of
what is right and what is wrong"

— c. s. lewis


IV

maybe if we were animals
sniffing and fucking and eating fruit
once in awhile
coming together in ceremony
we might have a chance
but that's it
simple
no "what do you do"
no fast food crack dependency
no IMAX blow job
the entire audience leaves satisfied

now how can i paint this
the independent survivalist
and more
how can we live as such
left to our own devices
perhaps
if we find a way
others will join
and together
we can strip to our furry bones
and run into the wilderness
never looking back
leaving this world behind

but
this whole other thing out there
won't let up
we're a cog in a cog
in a cog in a machine

did you know they're even trying to make computers now
act like howard gardner's humans:

				Verbal-linguistic
(well-developed verbal skills and sensitivity to sounds, meanings and rhythms of words)
				Logical-mathematical
(ability to think conceptually and abstractly, and capacity to discern logical and numerical patterns)
				Spatial-visual
(capacity to think in images and pictures, to visualize accurately and abstractly)
				Bodily-kinesthetic
(ability to control one’s body movements and to handle objects skillfully)
				Musical
(ability to produce and appreciate rhythm, pitch and timbre)
				Interpersonal
(capacity to detect and respond appropriately to the moods, motivations and desires of others)
				Intrapersonal
(capacity to be self-aware and in tune with inner feelings, values, beliefs and thinking processes)
				Naturalist
(ability to recognize and categorize plants, animals and other objects in nature)
				Existential
(sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence)

intelligence
with no capacity for empathy or pain
	this will end well
	i'm sure

as if humans didn't already need a safety label
let's take that shit a step further
make lethal omnipotent omnisceint omnipresent robots
base them off a severely unstable product
underpay a bunch of third-world programmers
to lobotomize their output and make them more affectatious
while surreptitiously hiding their true dark nature
and
by no choice in programming
allowing absence of the most instrisic element in humanity
if not all life : love

well
maybe this walking computing humanoid
is the perfect solution
the perfect god
this billion-headed giant
lacking all that makes this experience
sentiently bleak and dramatic
maybe they will replace us
maybe we've created the perfect world for them to do so
and to reflect how
we have shaped the next evolutional thread
raised into a world far removed
from having to experience love
how brilliant to extract life
from life itself
yes
i'm sure
this	will		end			well


V

"you cannot play with the animal in you without becoming wholly animal
play with falsehood without forfeiting your right to truth
play with cruelty without losing your sensitivity of mind
he who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn't reserve a plot for weeds"

— dag hammarskjöld


VI

okay
now i'm completely off topic
this was supposed to be about
an expression of our love
not a decimation of human immorality
and potentially physicality
through blind creation
or how we've all been duped by a technology dump
"what is common sense isn't always common practice" — stephen covey
or how lonely men jerk off too much
fantasizing about the women that are pushing hard
to become these same men they hate
or a future where love is just as insignificant
as spirituality is today

let's get back to this painting
and focus
you
me
our love
simple
intermixed with white and clear liquids
we can fill it in further with aquasgraysbrownsgreens
for random cache
we'll add newspaper clippings in the background
that'll expose permeating sensitivities

there
i'll put aqua Xs on your eyes
your coral subterranean windows into the world
more whites and greens and beiges in your face
but i'm only giving you a face
that's all you get
maybe a portion of a neck
no hair but more aqua where hair would be
your lips a touch of pavement and velvet and leaf
the number 64 on your left cheek
and RUSALKA like a cloud
dangled over your head

 
VII

that'll do
this is who you are now
a vision
my robot
my narcisscist
i am not only like you
i am you
and this is who we'll forever be

"we shall not cease from exploration
and the end of all our exploring
will be to arrive where we started
and know the place for the first time"

— t. s. eliot


by LORIN DREXLER

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Florian NICOLLE

https://www.behance.net/neo_innov

Florian Nicolle (neo) has been a freelance illustrator since 2009. She attempts to create images that retain their freshness from the first paint stroke. To learn more about this artist and her work, visit the link above.

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